The holidays. They’re a whirlwind of twinkling lights, festive music, crowded parties, and rich food. For many, it’s the most wonderful time of the year. But for neurodiverse individuals—including those with autism, ADHD, sensory processing differences, or anxiety—the traditional holiday event can feel more like a sensory assault course than a celebration.
Honestly, that’s a missed opportunity for everyone. Inclusive event planning isn’t about watering down the joy; it’s about widening the circle so more people can share in it. It’s about thoughtful design that reduces stress and amplifies genuine connection. Let’s dive into how you can create accessible and sensory-friendly holiday events that welcome neurodiverse guests with open arms.
Rethinking the Holiday “Norm”: Why Sensory-Friendly Matters
Think of sensory processing like a volume knob. For some, the knob is set low—they need more input to feel engaged. For others, it’s cranked to max, where the buzz of a fridge, the scent of pine, and the texture of a sweater all come in at the same, overwhelming volume. Traditional holiday events are a minefield for the latter group.
Planning with neurodiversity in mind is a profound act of hospitality. It says, “I see you, and I want you here.” It also, you know, just makes for a calmer, more enjoyable event for all your guests. Parents aren’t on edge. Older adults appreciate the lower noise. Everyone benefits from clear communication. It’s a win-win.
Core Principles of Neurodiverse-Friendly Planning
Before we get into the nitty-gritty, here’s the deal: successful planning rests on three pillars. Predictability, Control, and Escape. Offer clear information upfront (predictability). Provide options so guests can tailor their experience (control). And always, always ensure there’s a quiet, low-stimulation escape route available.
The Pre-Event Blueprint: Communication is Key
The invitation sets the tone. A sensory-friendly holiday event starts long before the first guest arrives.
- Detailed, No-Surprise Invitations: Be specific. List the start and end time. Describe the activities, the food menu, the expected noise level. Mention if there will be flashing lights or a surprise visit from a loud Santa. This allows guests to mentally prepare.
- Offer a “Sneak Peek”: Could you share a photo tour of the venue? A short video showing the layout, the decoration level, the quiet room? This is gold for reducing anxiety.
- Explicitly Welcome Accommodations: Use phrases like, “Please let us know how we can make this event more comfortable for you or your family.” And mean it. Be ready for requests about food, seating, or noise.
Transforming the Sensory Landscape of Your Venue
This is where your planning gets tangible. You’re designing an experience, not just decorating a room.
Sight & Sound: Dialing Down the Intensity
Dimmable lights or lamps are better than harsh overhead fluorescents. If you must have twinkling lights, keep them steady, not flashing. Designate a “low-stimulation zone”—a quiet room with neutral colors, comfortable seating, and maybe some soft blankets or fidget toys. It’s not an afterthought; it’s a sanctuary.
Sound is a big one. Keep background music instrumental and at a low volume. Avoid multiple, competing noise sources (music, a loud movie, a boisterous game all at once). In fact, consider having designated “quiet hours” during a longer event where music is turned off completely.
Touch, Taste, & Smell: The Overlooked Senses
Offer a variety of seating—some firm, some soft, some with room to rock or move. For a holiday craft table, provide options: sticky glue or less-tacky tape? Sparkly glitter (a notorious sensory villain) or colored paper and markers?
Food is central to holidays. Label everything clearly and consider a buffet layout that separates foods to avoid unwanted touching. Include plain, familiar options alongside the more adventurous dishes—think “bread and butter” alongside the herb-crusted roast. And for scent, go easy on the air fresheners, scented candles, or potent potpourri. Natural pine is plenty.
Structuring Activities for Inclusive Participation
Force-fed fun isn’t fun. Structure activities so people can engage at their own comfort level.
| Traditional Activity | Sensory-Friendly Adaptation |
| Loud, chaotic gift exchange game | Quiet gift drawing/random assignment, or a “give what you take” table with no time pressure. |
| Surprise performances or toasts | Schedule posted in advance. Offer noise-reducing ear plugs or mufflers at the entrance. |
| Open-ended mingling | Provide structured icebreakers with written prompts, or offer a simple helper role (like refilling drinks) for those who want a social script. |
The goal is to reduce the social demand. Have a clear schedule visible. Allow for parallel play—it’s okay if someone wants to sit and do a puzzle near the group without directly interacting. That’s still participation.
The Day Of: Being a Thoughtful Host
Your preparation pays off now. Greet people at the door and point out key areas immediately: “The bathroom is there, the quiet room is just down this hall, and drinks are here.” This instantly builds predictability.
Respect boundaries. If a guest is in the quiet room, don’t check on them unless there’s an emergency. Let that space be sacred. And avoid forcing interaction—a warm smile from across the room can be just as welcoming as a hug.
The Lasting Impact of Inclusive Celebrations
When you plan an accessible holiday event, you’re doing more than throwing a party. You’re sending a powerful message of belonging. You’re acknowledging that joy can be experienced in many different ways. And you’re creating memories that aren’t tinged with stress or exhaustion for a significant part of your community.
Sure, it might require a shift in perspective. A move away from “this is how it’s always been done.” But the result—a gathering where everyone can breathe, connect, and celebrate in their own way—feels more like the true spirit of the season than any perfect, high-pressure spectacle ever could. That’s a gift that benefits everyone, long after the decorations are put away.
